Whether in a relationship or marriage, there are certain relationship killers that can cause divorce or break up. Being aware of these can keep a relationship or marriage from going downhill:
Controlling behavior- Whether consciously or unknowingly,some partners act in such a manner that, because they have agreed to be in an exclusive relationship or have gotten married, that they OWN the other person and should have total control of the other - and monopolize their partner's life.. A controlling behavior is a sign of insecurity and lack of trust and makes the other have resistance against the partner making him or her want to break free.
Advice: have mutual friends and interests, but also have independent friends and interests and not build your world totally around the relationship alone. One of the keys to to keep a union interesting is not only to have common interests, common friends, but also have independent interests to allow each one to bring something interesting into a couple's conversations and especially not to keep a partner from pursuing his or her likes. Otherwise there will not be anything interesting to say if every waking moment you do and experience the same things.
Dishonesty and Lack of Trustworthiness - If you enter into a relationship or marriage, honesty and trustworthiness make a relationship or marriage strong and should be the practice. Why enter into a relationship if you cannot be honest and live a lie? Once trust is broken, it becomes a vicious cycle - the other starts to distrust and always becomes suspicious of the dishonest partner, and thus start to be controlling, then the partner resists the control and it makes it snowball into a more serious relationship problem. Conversely, being trustworthy will make the partner have enough peace of mind to allow the other to have some amount of freedom, keeping the relationship interesting and each one happy.
Advice: You need not be open about every single detail of your life but be open and honest about things that matter and might otherwise make your partner have a doubt on, like if you are going away with friends, to be honest about those details. Trust is not asked, it is earned. And trust can be earned with honesty and credibility.
Insecurity and neediness - while we are emotionally dependent on our partner to feel needed, loved and important, one should not put this responsibility on the partner for affirmation of confidence. We should always work on our own confidence and esteem by taking good care of ourselves, having meaningful, worthwhile career or activity and being independent as well.
Advice: Introspect on your level of confidence and do things that will improve it, whether it be physical, career-wise or a meaningful preoccupation or hobby. Having a healthy level of confidence and self-worth makes one feel independent and empowered.
Comfort zone danger -There are basically two dangers in this comfort zone trap: taking self for granted and taking each other for granted - Some partners fall into the comfort zone trap especially in a marriage that either partner becomes lax about the relationship since you are already bound by marriage, and the partner either starts neglecting self and the partner.
Advice: Strive to take care of yourself, to eat right, stay as appealing to partner as possible and at the same time not neglecting the partner either. Marriage is a career in itself and should be taken seriously, one can even say more important than a job itself - jobs are for practical reasons and one can go from one job to another, but marriage is something supposed to be a commitment of a lifetime; and sadly for some people, when the marriage goes wrong, it affects a person's whole being, pulling down even his career and other aspects of one's life. Read a related article on this website: Tips To Keep A Marriage Exciting.
Addictions and vicious habits - Feelings of emptiness or inadequacy can cause people to seek gratification in other forms to fill the void, have a temporary or instant gratification and take away the pain of feeling neglected, alone and lonely. These can include substance abuse such as alcohol and drugs, overeating, gambling, relentless overspending (money issues can be a strong trigger factor), too much about career, computer addiction, and so on, are just about some of the ways a neglected partner does for instant gratification and temporary happiness, which unfortunately can shut out a partner and start to have separate lives.
Advice: If one keeps the partner happy and you enjoy certain activities together, addiction to these need not happen. Regularly indulge in a common activity that you both can truly enjoy or have fun.
Seeing the partner's fault but not one's own - some people only see what is wrong in their partner but not conscious of their own faults. For example, the wife sees that the husband is starting to flirt, but the wife does not see that she is not taking care of herself well. Or you might be aware of your partner's resistance or defiance, but you fail to see your controlling behavior.
Advice: Constant communication will always bring out the partner's feelings so that if there are things we do not realize that we do but is bothering your partner, this will bring your partner's resentments to your conscious level and give a reality check.
Communication breakdown - One of the most important keys to a happy relationship or marriage is communication. When there are things that especially makes one upset, partners should openly discuss it in a calm civil manner so that resentment does not build within a partner. Lack of communication leads to misunderstanding and misinterpretation.
Advice: Make it a habit to communicate, whether to affirm something positive about a partner or to express disappointment. And please, no yelling - raising of voices is counterproductive and might lead to more serious situations like verbal or physical abuse with the heightened emotions. It will not achieve anything (unless the house is on fire!). A calm and collected conversation is always a better option and allows a person to think more clearly. No bringing up of the past either - useless to bring up something that cannot be changed, and is just a waste of time. Always focus and work on the here and now. (Communication is an art and a skill, for tips on how to communicate issues effectively, read on Good Interpersonal Skills to Remember)
Being aware of these relationship killers will hopefully help partners in avoiding these mistakes. A relationship or marriage is a working progress and the important thing is acceptance of one's shortcomings and the willingness to change.
You will find even more useful and insightful ideas about handling your marriage successfully and keeping it happy and healthy in the book Save My Marriage Today. This ebook has helped thousands of marriages across the globe and is a very useful guide for married couples.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Love and Marriage Advice for a Happy Relationship
Love relationships and marriage are a career in itself – we have to keep working on it everyday. In fact, it is the one of the biggest and most challenging careers of all – along with parenting – because while our jobs involve mainly our mental and physical faculties, relationships involve the emotions within us too, and that makes a big difference. Unlike jobs, in which we can just move on without any emotional struggle, relationship upheavals can really affect our whole being, affecting all other aspects of us that sometimes we just find it hard to function. So before it gets to be an irreparable struggle, what shall we do to keep the love of our life happy?
Love like there is no tomorrow – if your loved one will have 24 hours to live, what will you do for him/her? The problem with some relationships is that, because seeing one’s partner is so commonplace, and that being in a comfort zone knowing you are together everyday, the tendency is to neglect and not realize how much a person means to you until the relationship is challenged or worse, if the person is gone. Think of everyday as your last day to show everything you have got for the person – spontaneous hugs, kisses, reassuring him/her how much u love your partner, seeing things in your partner that you can compliment, these are all seemingly trivial things but they all add up to make you special in the eyes of your loved one.
Be attentive to what he/she needs or wants – Does your partner want or drop hints about something he/she likes? Surprise your partner with it! Sometimes a breakdown of a relationship or marriage is when one becomes frustrated with a partner for not being able to “pick up” what we want or need. I remember one woman whose husband loves racing – she is not fond of it at all, but because it will make her husband happy, she bought tickets for both of them even if it was not really her interest. The value of this especially is instead of your individual interests tearing you apart, you can enjoy his or her activity and thus provide more bonding. Do not confine acts of surprising your partner to special occasions, small but consistent surprises once in awhile is always better than just remembering him or her on birthdays or holidays. It is the spontaneous acts of love “just because” that makes you unforgettable to your partner. Taking some chances to do the unexpected will keep the flames of love lit up.
Take care of your partner, but also take care of yourself – another common flaw. Because we are in a comfort zone of being together we sometimes tend to neglect our physical appearance. Strive to be as appealing to your partner as you can. This is only a physical aspect and there are many other aspects to making yourself indispensable to your partner, but it will always help if we look at all possible angles to keeping a relationship or marriage happy.
Communicate, communicate, communicate – this can never be emphasized more. Whether it is a compliment, motivating each other, but also when there are upsetting things. Communication is the key - when you are upset, let each other know, but in a nice civil way, no yelling! Regular communication leads to a better understanding of each other and prevents resentment build-up. And listen, really listen with your heart. Know when to say sorry if the need arises. Control your anger and take time to keep quiet rather than say things you might regret later.
Love everyday, give it 100%, take every moment to love, show care, be there for your partner. That way, you become an indispensable partner - be someone he or she loves not because you are someone he/she can live with, but because you are someone he or she cannot live without.
If you want more advice for a happy relationship in love and marriage there is more in this book, Save My Marriage Today. You can find even more useful advice in this book and help you in the most important career of your life. Jobs come and go, but a meaningful relationship will carry us through for the rest of our lives.
as featured in http://ezinearticles.com/?Love-and-Marriage---Advice-For-a-Happy-Relationship&id=5500067
Love like there is no tomorrow – if your loved one will have 24 hours to live, what will you do for him/her? The problem with some relationships is that, because seeing one’s partner is so commonplace, and that being in a comfort zone knowing you are together everyday, the tendency is to neglect and not realize how much a person means to you until the relationship is challenged or worse, if the person is gone. Think of everyday as your last day to show everything you have got for the person – spontaneous hugs, kisses, reassuring him/her how much u love your partner, seeing things in your partner that you can compliment, these are all seemingly trivial things but they all add up to make you special in the eyes of your loved one.
Be attentive to what he/she needs or wants – Does your partner want or drop hints about something he/she likes? Surprise your partner with it! Sometimes a breakdown of a relationship or marriage is when one becomes frustrated with a partner for not being able to “pick up” what we want or need. I remember one woman whose husband loves racing – she is not fond of it at all, but because it will make her husband happy, she bought tickets for both of them even if it was not really her interest. The value of this especially is instead of your individual interests tearing you apart, you can enjoy his or her activity and thus provide more bonding. Do not confine acts of surprising your partner to special occasions, small but consistent surprises once in awhile is always better than just remembering him or her on birthdays or holidays. It is the spontaneous acts of love “just because” that makes you unforgettable to your partner. Taking some chances to do the unexpected will keep the flames of love lit up.
Take care of your partner, but also take care of yourself – another common flaw. Because we are in a comfort zone of being together we sometimes tend to neglect our physical appearance. Strive to be as appealing to your partner as you can. This is only a physical aspect and there are many other aspects to making yourself indispensable to your partner, but it will always help if we look at all possible angles to keeping a relationship or marriage happy.
Communicate, communicate, communicate – this can never be emphasized more. Whether it is a compliment, motivating each other, but also when there are upsetting things. Communication is the key - when you are upset, let each other know, but in a nice civil way, no yelling! Regular communication leads to a better understanding of each other and prevents resentment build-up. And listen, really listen with your heart. Know when to say sorry if the need arises. Control your anger and take time to keep quiet rather than say things you might regret later.
Love everyday, give it 100%, take every moment to love, show care, be there for your partner. That way, you become an indispensable partner - be someone he or she loves not because you are someone he/she can live with, but because you are someone he or she cannot live without.
If you want more advice for a happy relationship in love and marriage there is more in this book, Save My Marriage Today. You can find even more useful advice in this book and help you in the most important career of your life. Jobs come and go, but a meaningful relationship will carry us through for the rest of our lives.
as featured in http://ezinearticles.com/?Love-and-Marriage---Advice-For-a-Happy-Relationship&id=5500067
Parents Tips for Raising Kids Successfully
How a person is in adulthood is largely influenced by how he or she was raised as a kid. A study of delinquents' backgrounds will reveal any of the following: (1) the child did not receive enough love and positive attention; (2) The child did not receive positive encouragement (children, like any of us, need validation) and worse, was subjected to humiliation, eroding self-confidence and building inferiority complex and low self-worth; (3) the child was treated cruelly by way of disproportionate anger and punishment. When kids do not get positive feedback and a nurturing environment from at least one parent, the tendency is to seek acceptance and attention somewhere else - oftentimes it's through peers. Then when they become out of control teens we think it's normal process they go through, and going through teens is the most challenging part because it is at this stage that they are in between childhood and adulthood and on the process of finding their identity.
Successful parenting can be achieved by all even with single parents, and no matter what situation. Here are some sound words that can help you achieve this:
(1) Give unconditional love and positive attention - love your children just for being your kids, not because they excelled in school or sports, not just because they show talent, but just for being your kids. Give them ample attention, communicate a lot, give a hug or a reassuring touch, take time to listen to them. Attend school functions. Enjoy activities with them, do things together, whether it's a fun activity or house chores. Kids love and seek their parents' attention - whether they get it in a positive or negative behavior depends on what the parents reinforce. If they don't get the positive attention and acceptance from parents, they will always seek it somewhere else, and peers are their most likely recourse. Create a stronger bond with your kids and they will always gravitate towards that bond.
(2) Create a positive environment within every kid - as kids grow, they need affirmation of what they are doing, it reinforces a habit or behavior. So always keep in mind to praise good work and achievement, no matter how little those successes will be - to them it can mean so much already and this builds self-confidence. Support their interest and encourage them in what aptitude or talent you can see in your child. Conversely, when they do something wrong or unpleasant, do not just reprimand without letting them know why, and if you have to reprimand, do it as calm as possible and in private - humiliation especially infront of others creates low self-worth and resentment, and a possible start of a hostile behavior. Also, NEVER compare one kid with another. Always remember that every kid is unique and has his or her own abilities or traits.
(3) Teach them responsibility: love but do not pamper - even as little kids they have to learn responsibility, like putting away their toys, making their bed, setting aside time for studies, even sharing little bits of housework - this in particular does 2 things, you teach them responsibility and it serves as a bonding activity as well. Teaching them responsibility also can be done by showing them that receiving something they want is sometimes a reward for a positive behavior, that in their little way they "worked" for what they received. It gives positive reinforcement and encouragement for a deed or action.
(4) Teach them to be kind and helpful, as well as to appreciate what they have - Teaching your kid to be kind and helpful creates a gentle spirit within. Similarly, letting them appreciate whatever they have will create a positive outlook. When my kids were growing up, and we saw unfortunate or unpleasant situations, I always told them how blessed they are that they were not in the same situation but at the same time, seeing how blessed they are, they should pass it forward by kindness. The best way to show this is when they see this in you!
(5) Give them the gift of inner strength, to accept mistakes, rejection and failure in a constructive way - Knowing it is normal to fail (and not being scolded for it!) and make mistakes is a good exercise to teach kids inner strength early on, that things happen sometimes and the important thing is that he or she did HIS best, not THE best, and to learn from these mistakes instead of sulking and pondering over these mistakes. Another major way we can teach our kids inner strength is by not giving in to all they want. As parents we are sometimes guilty of doing this, but instant gratification every time will not build the kids' character - rather, helping them realize that they cannot have everything they want, but explained in a loving way.
(6) Put motivation in a positive perspective - when you encourage your kid to do things especially in studies, teach your kid the value of doing his best, instead of negative programming. "study or you are grounded" - this makes for a negative, short-term motivation, instead of teaching your kid the value on his future.
(7) To a certain degree, involve them with the situation at hand - how you handle this will depend on the kids' age. Knowing the proper timing and manner how to say this is crucial. Are you having certain financial struggles? Serious marital problems even to the point of divorce? While these are adult problems, it can be communicated to the kid to a certain extent. This gives them a solid grasp of reality. The key here is to explain it in the least negative way possible without showing bitterness but rather acceptance and optimism.
(8) Learn when to say sorry - As adults and parents we are not infallible. Sometimes a sudden burst of anger from a parent, or a false accusation, will cause a child to feel dejected. Learn to apologize to them, at the same time, this also teaches them to be humble and do the same.
Successful parenting involves a lot of love, patience and communication. The key is developing a close positive relationship with your kids and they will come out as winners no matter what the situation the family is in, even in the midst of a broken marriage or divorce. We only get one shot at raising our kids - once they grow up crooked, this is hard to correct. The greatest gift we can give our kids therefore is raising them with the proper values, attitude and character.
"If we die tomorrow, the company we worked for can replace us in a week; but our family will feel the loss forever. Yet we spend more time with work than with family - an unwise investment."
Recommended Tools for Parents
There is one book highly recommended and rated as the best-selling parenting product of 2010 by the Parent Learning Club, Happy Child Guide -How To Get Any Child To Stop Misbehavior & Listen that will be a useful tool for parents.
Got an out of control teen? Yes there is always hope and it's never to late. There is this book. My Out of Control Teen that can help you as you guide a kid through the most challenging part of the growing up years.
Worried about what our kids are exposed to on the internet? Very understandable, because the net can be so influential. There is a good software tool, My Porn Blocker to give you peace of mind and protect your kids from potential harm that they are exposed to.
as featured in: http://ezinearticles.com/?Parents---Tips-for-Raising-Kids-Successfully&id=5548157
Successful parenting can be achieved by all even with single parents, and no matter what situation. Here are some sound words that can help you achieve this:
(1) Give unconditional love and positive attention - love your children just for being your kids, not because they excelled in school or sports, not just because they show talent, but just for being your kids. Give them ample attention, communicate a lot, give a hug or a reassuring touch, take time to listen to them. Attend school functions. Enjoy activities with them, do things together, whether it's a fun activity or house chores. Kids love and seek their parents' attention - whether they get it in a positive or negative behavior depends on what the parents reinforce. If they don't get the positive attention and acceptance from parents, they will always seek it somewhere else, and peers are their most likely recourse. Create a stronger bond with your kids and they will always gravitate towards that bond.
(2) Create a positive environment within every kid - as kids grow, they need affirmation of what they are doing, it reinforces a habit or behavior. So always keep in mind to praise good work and achievement, no matter how little those successes will be - to them it can mean so much already and this builds self-confidence. Support their interest and encourage them in what aptitude or talent you can see in your child. Conversely, when they do something wrong or unpleasant, do not just reprimand without letting them know why, and if you have to reprimand, do it as calm as possible and in private - humiliation especially infront of others creates low self-worth and resentment, and a possible start of a hostile behavior. Also, NEVER compare one kid with another. Always remember that every kid is unique and has his or her own abilities or traits.
(3) Teach them responsibility: love but do not pamper - even as little kids they have to learn responsibility, like putting away their toys, making their bed, setting aside time for studies, even sharing little bits of housework - this in particular does 2 things, you teach them responsibility and it serves as a bonding activity as well. Teaching them responsibility also can be done by showing them that receiving something they want is sometimes a reward for a positive behavior, that in their little way they "worked" for what they received. It gives positive reinforcement and encouragement for a deed or action.
(4) Teach them to be kind and helpful, as well as to appreciate what they have - Teaching your kid to be kind and helpful creates a gentle spirit within. Similarly, letting them appreciate whatever they have will create a positive outlook. When my kids were growing up, and we saw unfortunate or unpleasant situations, I always told them how blessed they are that they were not in the same situation but at the same time, seeing how blessed they are, they should pass it forward by kindness. The best way to show this is when they see this in you!
(5) Give them the gift of inner strength, to accept mistakes, rejection and failure in a constructive way - Knowing it is normal to fail (and not being scolded for it!) and make mistakes is a good exercise to teach kids inner strength early on, that things happen sometimes and the important thing is that he or she did HIS best, not THE best, and to learn from these mistakes instead of sulking and pondering over these mistakes. Another major way we can teach our kids inner strength is by not giving in to all they want. As parents we are sometimes guilty of doing this, but instant gratification every time will not build the kids' character - rather, helping them realize that they cannot have everything they want, but explained in a loving way.
(6) Put motivation in a positive perspective - when you encourage your kid to do things especially in studies, teach your kid the value of doing his best, instead of negative programming. "study or you are grounded" - this makes for a negative, short-term motivation, instead of teaching your kid the value on his future.
(7) To a certain degree, involve them with the situation at hand - how you handle this will depend on the kids' age. Knowing the proper timing and manner how to say this is crucial. Are you having certain financial struggles? Serious marital problems even to the point of divorce? While these are adult problems, it can be communicated to the kid to a certain extent. This gives them a solid grasp of reality. The key here is to explain it in the least negative way possible without showing bitterness but rather acceptance and optimism.
(8) Learn when to say sorry - As adults and parents we are not infallible. Sometimes a sudden burst of anger from a parent, or a false accusation, will cause a child to feel dejected. Learn to apologize to them, at the same time, this also teaches them to be humble and do the same.
Successful parenting involves a lot of love, patience and communication. The key is developing a close positive relationship with your kids and they will come out as winners no matter what the situation the family is in, even in the midst of a broken marriage or divorce. We only get one shot at raising our kids - once they grow up crooked, this is hard to correct. The greatest gift we can give our kids therefore is raising them with the proper values, attitude and character.
"If we die tomorrow, the company we worked for can replace us in a week; but our family will feel the loss forever. Yet we spend more time with work than with family - an unwise investment."
Recommended Tools for Parents
There is one book highly recommended and rated as the best-selling parenting product of 2010 by the Parent Learning Club, Happy Child Guide -How To Get Any Child To Stop Misbehavior & Listen that will be a useful tool for parents.
Got an out of control teen? Yes there is always hope and it's never to late. There is this book. My Out of Control Teen that can help you as you guide a kid through the most challenging part of the growing up years.
Worried about what our kids are exposed to on the internet? Very understandable, because the net can be so influential. There is a good software tool, My Porn Blocker to give you peace of mind and protect your kids from potential harm that they are exposed to.
as featured in: http://ezinearticles.com/?Parents---Tips-for-Raising-Kids-Successfully&id=5548157
Monday, May 9, 2011
Dating Tips Online and Offline
With the internet gaining more popularity and here to stay, more and more people are turning to the net for basically everything – and getting a date and possible future partner is no exception. Making the internet as a start for finding a date clearly has advantages – people get to know each other first to make the first face to face meeting less awkward, and what each person wants is made clear from the start, before the actual meeting itself. Online dating is also more practical money-wise, because one need not spend on a date in trying to find out about each other, as well as less time-consuming. But online dating is a whole jungle of people, so in getting started with going into online dating, here are some points to remember:
Know who you are and what you want – People turn to online dating for various reasons, so being clear with what you want will funnel your online search to eliminate disappointments to a significant degree. Risk factor is low with being clear with your purpose and your interest.
Honesty/sincerity pays – in online dating, while there is a natural tendency to put our best foot forward, it is best to be honest and not paint anything other than the real picture to avoid disappointments on both parties as well as waste of time. Being honest about you will better determine whether you are compatible with the prospective date or not.
Approach unfamiliar territory with caution – All types of people access the internet, there is no screening the kind of people you will meet, so it helps to be careful and not be gullible with everything you hear or see. Neither should you divulge too much personal information.
When trying to know a person, check for the consistency of what he or she says, being careful not to believe everything told. When there are inconsistencies, it is a red flag and a warning sign. This is probably a sign to keep a distance until the veracity of these facts is determined (at this point, you may want to do a background check yourself, InteliGator is a good and valuable source of information.)
Take it slow, take time to build – it has been a proven common thread for couples who started online dating that, the more they take time to build the friendship and know each other, the more successful the blossoming relationship will be in the long term.
Text international for free:
The First Date
So now you have taken some time to build this relationship, now what? The first date is as critical as a first impression – it will be the make or break and will determine the fate of what you have built. To increase the chances of a successful first date, these are some useful dating tips to keep in mind:
Dating Tip#1: Safety First
You can never be too sure on the first date. It is always best to meet in a public place, though quiet enough to be conducive to a pleasant conversation. Have your own transport if possible or in a place where it is accessible to public transportation so that you can have a quick exit if things do not go well. Inform a close friend beforehand of this first date, such as information about this person you are meeting, contact details, where you will be meeting.
Dating Tip#2: Creating a Good Physical Impression
Dressing, grooming and preparing for that first date-Rather than being dressed to kill, loud or flashy, or attracting the wrong kind of attention (remember this is a first date and it is best to play safe), dress on something you are comfortable in, with emphasis more on good grooming - making sure everything is neat about you from hair down to your toes and smelling fresh, nothing heavy and strong but a light musk scent for men and something light and dainty for the women. Rule of thumb – never try anything new on any major event such as dating – no new scent (you don’t know how your body chemistry will react with the new scent), make-up or cosmetics (to rule out possible allergic reactions), no new clothes nor shoes (lest they might be ill-fitting and your discomfort shows thru), no drastic hairstyle change.
Dating Tip#3: The Charm of an Interesting Company
Having known a good deal about each other prior to this first date because of chatting online for some time should give you considerable leeway to comfortably talk about each other’s lives, interests, being careful not to venture into negative aspects though – keep the conversation in a positive happy note. A good conversation does not necessarily mean you have to talk all the time, but equally being a good listener. Learn to balance the conversation between you and him/her. People love to talk about themselves so you can get the person to talk and make him/her feel comfortable by asking about things you previously have an idea about in him/her –interests, family, work. Be considerate and thoughtful, compliment as appropriate, listen with your eyes and heart, this shows that you are naturally interested in what the other is saying - listening is a very endearing and charming trait, as well as remembering things about the person.
Humor always is a positive thing, as long as it is natural and not forced – remember your chats prior to this first date and recall the things you laughed about.
If towards the end of the date you had a nice time, let the person know, and if you feel the other person feels the same, you can lightly mention about the succeeding date come picking-up-the-tab time (usually it’s the male role the first time at least) and a good segue for succeeding dates is by you lightly mentioning like “okay the next one is on me,” so that you will be less uncomfy about who picks the tab.
These are merely dating tips and will not guarantee dating success 100%, but should it not go as well as you hoped, never be disheartened in your pursuit of the right partner for you. If you are on the dating scene, I am recommending these books The Woman Men Adore...and Never Want to Leave or for the men GuyGetsGirl - How To Attract Women - Fast!.
http://ezinearticles.com/?Dating-Tips-Online-and-Offline&id=5753267
Know who you are and what you want – People turn to online dating for various reasons, so being clear with what you want will funnel your online search to eliminate disappointments to a significant degree. Risk factor is low with being clear with your purpose and your interest.
Honesty/sincerity pays – in online dating, while there is a natural tendency to put our best foot forward, it is best to be honest and not paint anything other than the real picture to avoid disappointments on both parties as well as waste of time. Being honest about you will better determine whether you are compatible with the prospective date or not.
Approach unfamiliar territory with caution – All types of people access the internet, there is no screening the kind of people you will meet, so it helps to be careful and not be gullible with everything you hear or see. Neither should you divulge too much personal information.
When trying to know a person, check for the consistency of what he or she says, being careful not to believe everything told. When there are inconsistencies, it is a red flag and a warning sign. This is probably a sign to keep a distance until the veracity of these facts is determined (at this point, you may want to do a background check yourself, InteliGator is a good and valuable source of information.)
Take it slow, take time to build – it has been a proven common thread for couples who started online dating that, the more they take time to build the friendship and know each other, the more successful the blossoming relationship will be in the long term.
Text international for free:
The First Date
So now you have taken some time to build this relationship, now what? The first date is as critical as a first impression – it will be the make or break and will determine the fate of what you have built. To increase the chances of a successful first date, these are some useful dating tips to keep in mind:
Dating Tip#1: Safety First
You can never be too sure on the first date. It is always best to meet in a public place, though quiet enough to be conducive to a pleasant conversation. Have your own transport if possible or in a place where it is accessible to public transportation so that you can have a quick exit if things do not go well. Inform a close friend beforehand of this first date, such as information about this person you are meeting, contact details, where you will be meeting.
Dating Tip#2: Creating a Good Physical Impression
Dressing, grooming and preparing for that first date-Rather than being dressed to kill, loud or flashy, or attracting the wrong kind of attention (remember this is a first date and it is best to play safe), dress on something you are comfortable in, with emphasis more on good grooming - making sure everything is neat about you from hair down to your toes and smelling fresh, nothing heavy and strong but a light musk scent for men and something light and dainty for the women. Rule of thumb – never try anything new on any major event such as dating – no new scent (you don’t know how your body chemistry will react with the new scent), make-up or cosmetics (to rule out possible allergic reactions), no new clothes nor shoes (lest they might be ill-fitting and your discomfort shows thru), no drastic hairstyle change.
Dating Tip#3: The Charm of an Interesting Company
Having known a good deal about each other prior to this first date because of chatting online for some time should give you considerable leeway to comfortably talk about each other’s lives, interests, being careful not to venture into negative aspects though – keep the conversation in a positive happy note. A good conversation does not necessarily mean you have to talk all the time, but equally being a good listener. Learn to balance the conversation between you and him/her. People love to talk about themselves so you can get the person to talk and make him/her feel comfortable by asking about things you previously have an idea about in him/her –interests, family, work. Be considerate and thoughtful, compliment as appropriate, listen with your eyes and heart, this shows that you are naturally interested in what the other is saying - listening is a very endearing and charming trait, as well as remembering things about the person.
Humor always is a positive thing, as long as it is natural and not forced – remember your chats prior to this first date and recall the things you laughed about.
If towards the end of the date you had a nice time, let the person know, and if you feel the other person feels the same, you can lightly mention about the succeeding date come picking-up-the-tab time (usually it’s the male role the first time at least) and a good segue for succeeding dates is by you lightly mentioning like “okay the next one is on me,” so that you will be less uncomfy about who picks the tab.
These are merely dating tips and will not guarantee dating success 100%, but should it not go as well as you hoped, never be disheartened in your pursuit of the right partner for you. If you are on the dating scene, I am recommending these books The Woman Men Adore...and Never Want to Leave or for the men GuyGetsGirl - How To Attract Women - Fast!.
http://ezinearticles.com/?Dating-Tips-Online-and-Offline&id=5753267
Romance Tips - 8 Secrets on How To Have An Unstoppable Magnetic Attraction
Attractiveness is a broadly encompassing concept. It is a fusion of body, mind and soul. It starts with taking good care of one's physical attributes. Beautiful people are not necessarily supermodels with Greek-god faces and unreal proportions. Beautiful people are normal people who watch their diet, keep their bodies clean, and don tasteful, yet inexpensive clothing. These physical attributes though should be considered as merely the tip of the iceberg that beckons to the deeper more essential part of true attractiveness.
Beauty, more importantly, is internal.Whether handsome or pretty, bland or plain, the internally beautiful betray an intelligence and burning diligence that reflects their personality. Recall that personality is molded by how we carry ourselves and associate with the world at large. Magnetic people take effort to be the best that they can be. Here’s how to ooze magnetic attraction:
1. Books and periodicals are your best friend. Beef up what’s in your head and rack up more beauty points with your enlightened discussions. Intelligence is attractive, it makes you an interesting person as opposed to being a boring one, especially when you can take on a vast expanse of topics or issues.
2. Develop your sense of humor. Read, watch, and be with people with wit and sense of humor to hone this attractive attribute. Wit is a rare and valued commodity.
3. Is that a burger you’re shovelling down your throat? Stop. You are literally what you eat. Want to be a lard bucket? Then chomp that burger.
4. Soap, shampoo and mouthwash are better than all the pheromone sprays, libido enhancers and failed nose lifts. Good hygiene is the honey that attracts the delightful bees.
5. Dress to impress- 24/7. You probably had one of those moments. There you were, in sloppy coveralls at the mall. Then you run into the boss or a beautiful stranger.BIG mistake. Don't forget to wear that smile as well - you will never know who is around to appreciate the charm of your smile.
6. Ask and Listen. The most dazzling conversationalists avoid monopolizing conversations. Rather, they ask and are great listeners. Stop and think about that. Isn’t your best friend a great listener? And listen with your eyes and heart - being a good listener doesn't mean simply listening, but taking to heart and mind all that has been said.
7. Read inspirational books - it shapes one's character to becoming a good-natured, kindhearted person with a positive aura, and such nature is a very endearing trait.
8. Finally, think sexy. Feel sexy. You are what you think you are. Your body follows what the mind dictates. The $3000 executive coaches like to pass this astounding piece of common sense for a hefty fee. Save the money.
So, get out there and glow. You can be attractive without those creams, lotions and surgeons. True beauty is holistic. Always keep in mind that magnetic attraction is the totality of all these factors.
Want some recommended reading for dating? Girls check this: The Woman Men Adore and Never Want To Leave, or for the men: Guy Gets Girl: How To Get Women - Fast!
Beauty, more importantly, is internal.Whether handsome or pretty, bland or plain, the internally beautiful betray an intelligence and burning diligence that reflects their personality. Recall that personality is molded by how we carry ourselves and associate with the world at large. Magnetic people take effort to be the best that they can be. Here’s how to ooze magnetic attraction:
1. Books and periodicals are your best friend. Beef up what’s in your head and rack up more beauty points with your enlightened discussions. Intelligence is attractive, it makes you an interesting person as opposed to being a boring one, especially when you can take on a vast expanse of topics or issues.
2. Develop your sense of humor. Read, watch, and be with people with wit and sense of humor to hone this attractive attribute. Wit is a rare and valued commodity.
3. Is that a burger you’re shovelling down your throat? Stop. You are literally what you eat. Want to be a lard bucket? Then chomp that burger.
4. Soap, shampoo and mouthwash are better than all the pheromone sprays, libido enhancers and failed nose lifts. Good hygiene is the honey that attracts the delightful bees.
5. Dress to impress- 24/7. You probably had one of those moments. There you were, in sloppy coveralls at the mall. Then you run into the boss or a beautiful stranger.BIG mistake. Don't forget to wear that smile as well - you will never know who is around to appreciate the charm of your smile.
6. Ask and Listen. The most dazzling conversationalists avoid monopolizing conversations. Rather, they ask and are great listeners. Stop and think about that. Isn’t your best friend a great listener? And listen with your eyes and heart - being a good listener doesn't mean simply listening, but taking to heart and mind all that has been said.
7. Read inspirational books - it shapes one's character to becoming a good-natured, kindhearted person with a positive aura, and such nature is a very endearing trait.
8. Finally, think sexy. Feel sexy. You are what you think you are. Your body follows what the mind dictates. The $3000 executive coaches like to pass this astounding piece of common sense for a hefty fee. Save the money.
So, get out there and glow. You can be attractive without those creams, lotions and surgeons. True beauty is holistic. Always keep in mind that magnetic attraction is the totality of all these factors.
Want some recommended reading for dating? Girls check this: The Woman Men Adore and Never Want To Leave, or for the men: Guy Gets Girl: How To Get Women - Fast!
Relationship and Break up Woes - How Do I Get An Ex Back?
Okay so you had a major disagreement and it seems like the end of the line or end of the world. The problem is, the more you see it getting worse the more you act irrationally and impulsively and the more you want to control your man. He resists it and it snowballs as you want to control him more and more and resentment grows within each of you. Whoa danger sign! Time to back off a bit before you panic and make a fool of yourself, making yourself even more undesirable to your man. So what to do next you wonder? Here are some pieces of advice which I have gathered from my good male friends themselves:
(1) Back off a bit and do not make him feel that you are a burden; a partner is supposed to be someone who makes the other feel light and inspired, not stressed and irritated. Stop communicating for awhile, no texts, no calls, no flooding of emails, no showing up where uninvited. Give him some peace and silence for several days. Impulsively communicating will also tend to make you say things that you will regret later, providing a breather will also help you rethink and act more rationally and calmly.
(2) A man will not want to get back with a woman when his last memories before a break up is a woman who is yelling, raging, swearing NO MATTER WHO IS AT FAULT. “Oh no that can’t be he deserves my wrath for what he did!” Hold your emotions - reacting calmly and quietly will make him feel remorse somehow and realize his mistake more easily. So until you can feel you have a control of your bitterness and hatred, it is best to keep away from him and instead divert your time and effort to positive energy. Indulge in your favorite sport or hobby, especially one that allows you to interact with others so that you will be able to take your mind off the break up instead of sulking and wallowing in self-pity. Having a chance to interact with others will make you feel better about yourself. Here is one tip of what I do: I go to my favorite orphanage and do charitable work. It will make you feel light and good and this will calm your spirit which prepares you for a better interaction with him.
(3) It will be wonderful if after some breather after a break up, you hear from him and you start rebuilding the relationship. But what if it does not happen? After some breather (and make sure there is no more trace of bitterness nor hatred), you can write a letter (a calm one please!) but make sure it is something positive and not something that has a bitter note, such as justifying what you did if you have already made a fool of yourself during the break up. Better still, just be nice, sweet and thoughtful, like wanting to know how he is and showing you care without any strings attached. Chances are he will soften up and you can start from there.
Why is this better than talking to him upfront? First of all, writing a letter or an email will allow you to think clearly, organize your thoughts and say things in a more relaxed manner, he may reject talking to you, but he will always be curious what you have written to him. Secondly, you get to say everything you wish to say without getting derailed or it getting nasty as compared to talking to him wherein it might end up in another argument – pushing your chances of getting him back together all the more.
You can get an even better guidance with an e-course I have found: Magic of Making Up a book that has been getting raves and helping couples across 77 countries, it will guide you not only on getting your ex back but also make him/her fall in love with you all over again.
(1) Back off a bit and do not make him feel that you are a burden; a partner is supposed to be someone who makes the other feel light and inspired, not stressed and irritated. Stop communicating for awhile, no texts, no calls, no flooding of emails, no showing up where uninvited. Give him some peace and silence for several days. Impulsively communicating will also tend to make you say things that you will regret later, providing a breather will also help you rethink and act more rationally and calmly.
(2) A man will not want to get back with a woman when his last memories before a break up is a woman who is yelling, raging, swearing NO MATTER WHO IS AT FAULT. “Oh no that can’t be he deserves my wrath for what he did!” Hold your emotions - reacting calmly and quietly will make him feel remorse somehow and realize his mistake more easily. So until you can feel you have a control of your bitterness and hatred, it is best to keep away from him and instead divert your time and effort to positive energy. Indulge in your favorite sport or hobby, especially one that allows you to interact with others so that you will be able to take your mind off the break up instead of sulking and wallowing in self-pity. Having a chance to interact with others will make you feel better about yourself. Here is one tip of what I do: I go to my favorite orphanage and do charitable work. It will make you feel light and good and this will calm your spirit which prepares you for a better interaction with him.
(3) It will be wonderful if after some breather after a break up, you hear from him and you start rebuilding the relationship. But what if it does not happen? After some breather (and make sure there is no more trace of bitterness nor hatred), you can write a letter (a calm one please!) but make sure it is something positive and not something that has a bitter note, such as justifying what you did if you have already made a fool of yourself during the break up. Better still, just be nice, sweet and thoughtful, like wanting to know how he is and showing you care without any strings attached. Chances are he will soften up and you can start from there.
Why is this better than talking to him upfront? First of all, writing a letter or an email will allow you to think clearly, organize your thoughts and say things in a more relaxed manner, he may reject talking to you, but he will always be curious what you have written to him. Secondly, you get to say everything you wish to say without getting derailed or it getting nasty as compared to talking to him wherein it might end up in another argument – pushing your chances of getting him back together all the more.
You can get an even better guidance with an e-course I have found: Magic of Making Up a book that has been getting raves and helping couples across 77 countries, it will guide you not only on getting your ex back but also make him/her fall in love with you all over again.
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